A 732 Word Confession (of which I am actually pretty ashamed)

So, I've gotten into this somewhat self-destructive habit of late.

I get off of work, tired from little sleep the night before, and then go to work out in some fashion or another (biking, hitting the gym, swimming, etc.). Upon my return, I always want to work out more, as I'm trying to get back into decent shape for future endeavors (hiking, backpacking, adventuring, etc.), but don't because there are only so many hours in the evening. Next comes the self-destructive part.

While eating, I turn on the TV...and remain in front of it for a few hours too long. Now, this bothers me on a few levels. Not only was I raised to watch no more than 1 hour of TV a day and to pursue outdoor activities instead (so my relationship with the good 'ole tele is a strained one already), but I also have quite a few personal artistic goals that tend to slip through my fingers whenever I spend too much around the tube.

Certainly, I realize that I am NOT the only American, or world citizen for that matter, with this nagging, mindless, spoon fed entertainment addiction, but it bothers me in particular, because generally speaking, I like to pride myself on my will-power. Clearly, I am failing in that respect this week. And although I know that being overly harsh on myself about it will probably do nothing but perpetuate a problem I have already begun to loathe (guilt makes some pleasures even more tempting), I am doing just that. The rebound affect is that I turn off the TV, and then promptly jump onto the computer to edit photos and organize artwork.

By the time I do, it’s usually around 11:30pm. Not terribly late, especially considering I've never been one to keep too strictly to "respectable" bed times (yeah, Dad/Julie, I mean you two and your 9:30pm early turn in), but definitely too late to make any real worthwhile progress when it comes to weeding through and editing LITERALLY hundreds of photos. Plus, I really have been trying to post on ye 'ole blog with some regularity, so that's another 20 minutes plus, depending on the post.

In any case, one thing leads to another, and before I know it, I'm rolling into bed (or more so grudgingly trudging towards bed) around 1:30am; Late, yes, but not TOO bad, right? Well, there's a catch.

Since I work at a gaming company, I am making the commitment to play more games, and my friend and boss, Mike, was kind enough to get me hooked on Tiny Tower, so my Ipod has accompanied me into the bedroom the past 3 nights. It takes very little effort (think 8 bit Sim Tower in an Iphone app, but a bit more clever), so I half fall asleep playing it...sometime around 2:00-2:30am.

Yes, I know. You can say it, but I'd rather you wouldn't, because I already know.

Tonight I was good. I went swimming, ate some food, watched just one short, half an hour of TV (I happened to have an episode of Sex in the City stuck in my head earlier today, so I gave it a quick watch while I ate my broccoli), and then started in on my artwork. I will be in bed by 12:30am at the latest, which is peaches for me.

As for the future, my goal as of July is to watch only 3 hours of TV a week. Movies are not included in that total, but will only be a reward, or for the exceptionally exhausting evenings, when the couch is my only friend in the world (we all have them, don't act like you don't).

Time is a tricky thing, and I find that personally, I really do ride a wave of dedication...I'm either 200% full of intention and focus, or lagging at a crummy 60%. Hopefully, July will be a worthwhile experiment in will-power, dedication, and balancing out time to my various crafts and pursuits. Have many hobbies to dabble in is great, until your childhood ends and you have to work 8 hours out of the day.

Anyway, I'll let you all know how it goes. If anyone else would like to join me in the TV diet, I'd be more than glad to have a comrade at arms (or two or three).

Now it’s my bedtime. Ciao!

p.s. As always, I want kittens. I feel like they would be a wonderful motivation to stay on a regular, healthy schedule...and would keep me very far from the TV. See...kittens make EVERYTHING better. :)

(random kitten image from reddit)

Hot Yoga

Oh man, can you feel that?

Its excitement, quivering through the air like electricity!

I just found out that the yoga studio that opened up near by offers wonderful hot yoga classes, both for fitness, and for more centering oriented Vinyasa styles. And both are on nights that fit my schedule! Yay!

For someone who used to dance all of the time, I've found that yoga is a wonderful alternative. And although I would like to get back to dancing on a regular basis (I AM aiming to with belly dance...but its been a busy few weeks since Alaska), having a regular yoga class again would be absolutely wonderful. I very much miss Pam and her graceful teaching style, but I'm sure I'll find a good fit at this new location.

Anywho, here's to fitness. Biking, gyming with Tav, back to belly dance and freestyle dancing, and soon to be hot yoga!

And here, also, is to kittens. Please, oh please, oh please! ;)

Dear World,

Dear World,

Often times, I look back on my life and wonder why I didn't have the sense to do what would have been JUST RIGHT.

I can see it now, just the perfect song to sing for home show back in high school. They would have loved it, and maybe that way my life would have taken a different route.

College...perhaps I should have danced and stuck to a writing degree. I would have loved it, and maybe that way my life would have taken a different route.

Years of indecision, rash decisions, and trying jobs that didn't fit quite right. If I had taken more time to deliberate, perhaps THEN my life would have taken a different route.

But my path has been this, and when I look around, I see that the most prevalent blessing, the clearest positive outcome has been the people I know and care for. The people I've met, the people I've loved, the sisters I've gained, and the dear friends I've known.

So world, if this is my journey, to meet people and love them and have them love me right back, can I ask just one thing of you along the way?

Can I maybe do that while painting and photographing my way to prosperity and fulfillment? Cause I have to admit, that would be pretty grand.

[I know, I know, that means I have to paint and photograph even more. And that's ok, because I'm working on it. And enjoying it too! ;) Sometimes I just wish there were a LITTLE more instant gratification now and then. But that's human, right?]

Anyway, thanks for the trip. I've enjoyed it so far, and I look forward to what else is in store. Especially the bit about the traveling and backpacking all over to get the great shot and the great story. Should be pretty fantastic!

Yours always (respectfully AND incorrigibly),
Jen

Why am I still awake?

Often, when you live with another person, it can be difficult to find your own time and space. Tonight, I get both, and I am soaking up every moment of them. That means I'm staying up probably a little too late...and watching a guilty pleasure movie (A League of Their Own, to be specific). But tired is creeping up, and I'd still like to read before bed, so cross your fingers that I can stay awake just a little bit longer.

Oh, and thanks to all 1,000 plus of you that have read my blog. :) You are wonderful. I promise I'll come up with some more worthwhile posts soon.

Ciao for now,

Jen